The web proves the internet is useless

The web is profoundly useless. Everybody is aware of this. I still remember the very first time I made use of the web, and my reaction to the web at that time was, “

I hate this which is useless.” It was in 1995. Bored one evening attending college, we made the decision to visit the basement in our dormitory, that was the pc room, which in fact had also lately become “

The Internet Room.” I was bored and restless university students. It had been a Sunday night. There wasn't any booze around. “

Hey, let’s use ‘the internet,” someone (possibly me) stated to my buddies Mike and Sue. This appeared as an exciting idea. No one had seen the web before.

Therefore we went downstairs. There have been rows of grayish computers. There have been a couple of pale, unhealthy-searching souls clustered online room, searching eco-friendly-skinned and ill in the flourescent lighting. We logged to the “

internet.” This involved a dial-up modem. There is much buzzing and whirring and clicking and lengthy extended out sounds because the dial-up modem started the extended procedure for connecting us towards the “


Then, there i was. I was on the web!

What will we do?” I stated to my pal Mike.

Well… look for something, I suppose.Inches

How will we do this?Inches

Do we use… what’s that factor known as?”

Alta… Vista?”

Right. …Alta Vista.”

Therefore we used Alta Vista. We didn’t understand what to look for. We found some tribute sites for a number of bands. They were boring and incredibly slow-loading and played repetitive song clips that needed us to show our loudspeakers off.

Then, we found a “

chat room.”

The chat room was created just like a “

virtual bar.” Everyone was chatting and purchasing one another “

virtual drinks.” You can speak with somebody that might or may not be a lady in tangible existence and purchase him/her an online gin and tonic. Or perhaps a virtual beer. This appeared absurd, and when i was logged in to the chat room, we stated so.



SCREW OFF,” someone typed back.

SCREW YOU,” we typed. “


I was then “

flamed” and locked from the chat room. …At this time, we switched from the computer and returned to the dorm room. “

The internet is terrible,” we stated. “

This won't ever become popular.Inches

And guess what happens happened next… it never did become popular, and continued to be a small niche activity — like, say, curling, or Pork Radio. Wait. That is not what went down whatsoever.

…But still, I had been so traumatized by the sucky experience with online the very first time which i didn’t utilize it again for 4 years, after i briefly accustomed to it look for sites a good obscure Japanese cartoon which i had once loved.

Now, I personally use it constantly. I’m an independent author. Being on the web is my job. If only it was not and i also could write with no internet. I've got a typewriter, that we love, which stares at me balefully from a corner of my room. But when I type something on my small typewriter, then I’ll… have to retype it on my small computer, on the web, so will be able to have it printed.

It's all very sad. I waste countless hrs searching at cat videos on the web. I no more take walks, visit libraries, or stare at falling leaves… since there are cat videos to become watched… on the web. Sad.


You will find, obviously, some likable aspects to the web. I love cats, and therefore I love watching videos with cats. I love having the ability to “

IM’ with random buddies in, say, Dubai or Romania. I love getting compensated, via writing on the web.

And That I admire the sheer crazy random uselessness from it all, of the internet. And merely earlier this week, I discovered a website that celebrates this uselessness, the mindless addiction from it all, and also, since I've wasted a lot time on the website, I have to share it along with you now. The website is known as “

The Useless Web,” which is virtually my personal favorite website now. “

The Useless Web” gives you a control button, saying “

Please take me to some useless website.” You click the button — and poof! — you're then somewhere useless. I really like it a lot.

Here, through the Useless Web, are a few websites that I've visited previously couple of days, after i was said to be carrying out work. Just like marketed, they're magically and perfectly useless:

  • Cat bounce” — (No major explanation needed here. They’re cats. They bounce.)

  • Heeeeey!” — (Hey. …Hoooo!)

  • Ducks would be the best” — (Possibly Kaira Pike’s new favorite website.)

  • Heyeyeayayeayaa” — (Wonderful and amazing.)

  • White trash” — (I do not know.)

  • Falling falling” — (Kind of Zen-ish… in ways.)

  • Chicken on the raft” — ( … )

  • Koalas towards the Max” — (Abstract.)

  • Bury me with my money” — (Absolutely fucking mystifying.)

  • Sometimes red, sometimes blue” — (The title of the the first is very descriptive.)

  • Has the big Hadron Collider destroyed the planet yet?” — (This is actually the only one of these simple websites that I'd seen before, and is reminiscent of another site which i enjoy, that is “

    Elf needs food.”)

  • OMFG Dogs!” — (The most popular. After I saw this website, 1 / 2 of my brain went “

    AAAAH!” and yet another half went, “

    This may be the finest factor ever.”

  • Republique plusieurs Mangues” — (That one is boring, but intriguing. As well as I will tell, it had been made by… a French guy who enjoys mangos?)

  • Walma” — ( … )

  • Everyday I’m” — (…Indeed.)


See? You examined all individuals, didn’t you? Or almost all. So we all just wasted time together, inside a great/awful way. Although I kind of got compensated for putting things off by penning this, however i wasted much more time of computer required you to definitely look at this, therefore it balances. …But this really is all also time that people might have spent searching at falling leaves. It's fall, in the end.* It’s breezy and autumnal outdoors. …So let’s switch off our computers and go outdoors, and check out some fucking falling leaves. After which afterwards, if necessary, we are able to return inside, and stare at yet more useless shit on the web. TC mark

(*Note, My home is New Orleans now, so it's 65 levels out, and therefore, autumnal. However, a lot of you most likely reside in New You are able to, where it sucks and it is cold. I've kind of forgotten that cold exists now, however i slightly regret my paean to fall, for the reason that most likely it’s really fucking cold where a lot of everyone are. STBU. Sucks to become you. I might have recently invented a phrase.)


The Most Useless Websites On The Internet